From magidin@uclink.berkeley.edu Subject: Red Iguana Noon:Wrath of Knowledgius, Chapter 20 Date: 10 Aug 1994 21:49:21 GMT Message-ID: <32bi11$13l@agate.berkeley.edu> [We join the action to see the first arrivals of the Vile Atheist Scientists For a Better Tomorrow Society arriving at the scene of the momentous confrontation between the WACSDAAG forces, led by an angry Stacy Prowell, and the Pube Fort, manned by the indomitable, and unintelligible, Red Iguana and his companion and Super-hero Sidekick, Ferret Boy.] [Jason McBryer] Well, we're here. Where is everyone else? [Dave Batchelor, holding the Galactic Plot Device] I'm here. I can see Mark McCoullough, Nick Noon and Paul King driving here in the distance there.. [he points to the road leading from the South into the unprotected flank of the Pube Fort] [Jason puts a hand over his eyes and peers in that direction.] [After a few minutes the car approaches. Aboard are, indeed, Mark, Nick and Paul] [Mark] So, any signs of ... ->her<-? [Jason shakes his head] Not yet. But I'm sure ->she<-'ll be here before this chapter is over. [Meanwhile, a figure climbs the tallest building of the Pube Fort, facing North at the congregated WACSDAAG forces. The WACSDAAG forces have just been on the receiving end of a terrifiying and mind-numbing spell hurled at them by Publius] [Dan Johnson] Wait, I thought the spell was something about... about... Thinking of someone when we write something.... [Ehr, I guess you are right. The WACSDAAG forces have just been on the receiving end of a pathetic and ineffectual spell hurled at them by the Mighty Red Iguana... Who doubtless has something terrifiying and mind numbing coming their way!] [At the top of the building stands the loyal Ferret Boy] [Ferret Boy] All hail Publius the Mighty Red Iguana! Sorcerer of Sorcerers! Magician of Magicians! Warlock Extraordinaire! And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you ...[dramatic pause] PUBLIUS! [A figure starts climbing atop the building. He is wearing a crimsom red Iguana Suit, but the head of the disguise has been modified to allow for a flowing deep blue cape with bright yellow starts, and a matching pointed hat.] [He reaches the top, and gestures grandly at his handiwork] [Clark Adams shouts] Red Iguana! Will there be anything else today? It looks like we all made our saving throw vs. spell for the last one! [Everyone laughs... except for the Red Iguana and the Ferret Boy] [Publius raises a hand, asking for silence. When the WACSDAAG forces have toned down their laughs to chuckles, he explains] In article <31k1kt$78v@tequesta.gate.net>, Publius wrote: > > My 'spell' is all-inclusive. [Tony Lawrence] What spell was that? Did it include me? > You will still think 'Christ' > and pay homage to the 'Son of God' no matter where you look > in 'this point in time'. [Tony thinks for a few seconds, contemplates the heavens, and says] 'Fraid not. All that comes to mind when you say Christ are the words 'Make', 'Buddy' and 'Believe', but not necessarily in that order. And what I think when I think of you starts with and 'I' and ends in 'diot'. [On the other side of the Pube Fort...] [Paul King] Oh, Tony. By now you should know that you cannot convince the Mighty Red Iguana with Mere Facts. [Back at the top of the Pube Fort...] [Ferret Boy] Pay no heed, oh Mighty Iguana! They will learn soon enough that no one, least of all an atheist, can defy... [dramatic pause] > PUBLIUS [Ferret Boy] Exactly! Spell that, you dirty atheist! [WACSDAAG force, in unison] P - U - B - L - I - U - S. [Ferret Boy turns a shade of crimsom close to that of his master's costume] Oh, so you can spell, huh? [He is interrupted by the aforementioned master, who motions him down. They disappear from the top of the building.] [Meanwhile, at the other side of the Pube Fort, Jason is eyeing his watch impatiently] [Jason] I don't think we can wait any longer. If ->she<- isn't here in 10 seconds, we will have to start without her. [9 seconds later] [They hear a voice] [Voice] Well, here I am. Why was I called? [Who is the mysterious voice? Who is the mysterious ->she<-? What are her powers or attributes? Will Publius cast other spells? Where are the Holy IPUers and why didn't they appear in this episode? And where is Knowledgius Objectivus, Vile Atheist God? For some of the answers to some questions, although not necessarily those above, don't miss the next episode of Red Iguana Noon:The Wrath of Knowledgius] ====================================================================== "It's not denial. I'm just very selective about what I accept as reality." --- Calvin ("Calvin and Hobbes") ====================================================================== Arturo Magidin magidin@uclink.berkeley.edu magidin@math.berkeley.edu [We see Knowledgius Objectivus in his kitchen preparing a ham-salami-and-swiss sandwich. He is now spreading the butter on the recently toasted bread, and is in the process of...] [Knowledgius] Hey! I'm on my lunch break here! Scat! Now! NO CARRIER